I’m Tired

I’m tired.

I keep guzzling coffee like that will help but it doesn’t really seem to.

I think it’s because it’s not that I am actually tired. I think it might be mental. Maybe I should say mentally and emotionally fatigued.

It’s the end of the school year and if anyone knows that is a crazy stressful time for teachers. Lots of grading and report cards to fill out. This was my first year as an art teacher. I had 12 classes of students and that is a lot of personalized comments to write. “Blog reader has been a joy to have in class. His/her doodles of poo emojis all over her/his work are what make teaching art a dream come true.”

I think what has made it worse is the lack of travel since 2022 started. If you remember, there was a time when I was writing blogs weekly and then covid reappeared in Shenzhen and my interest in regular blogging evaporated. It’s mainly because I only have so much to say about Covid. Well that isn’t true. I have a lot to say about it but I just don’t want to for several reasons (one of which I don’t really want to get into). The thing is I do need to talk about covid a little here to explain why I think I may be experiencing fatigue.

It started with sporadic and random spots being locked down in Shenzhen before we had our slow down week where we all stayed home. I was working online from home for a good chunk of the last half of the school year. That seems delightful until you realize Carter had no school and was with daddy all day and we had to maintain school hours as well. So I drew with my students for so many weeks I can’t even clearly count them back for you. When we finally came back to school we were told not to travel. That hasn’t changed at all. The country has continued having covid cases pop up all over and parts of it have been in lockdown for a very long time. So we are pretty lucky down here.

That doesn’t change the fact that I have not had a chance to recharge. I use trips to the beach, to Ocean Kingdom, or anywhere outside of Shenzhen as a way to refocus and refresh. I have not been able to do it.

I have been making art, writing poetry, and getting together with friends but it just isn’t enough. I need a getaway and I am not really sure when that will happen.

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